If you’re tired of hearing the same old exercise and nutrition tips on how to gain curves and muscles, that revolves around “eat more”, “lift weight”, “lift heavy” or you’re wondering why you’re not seeing any change in your body even though you’re following all the hacks to curves, this post is for you.
All the programs everywhere is telling you what to lift and how to lift, what to eat and how to eat.
But what of the person inside?
According to the NYC Psychologist Jonathan Haidt, there are 2 sides to our brain – One is the emotional side, the other the rational side. Haidt called the 2 sides, the elephant and the rider. The elephant is your emotion which I will refer to as your heart while the rider is your rational mind which I will refer to as your head.
Your head knows all the information, the exercise and the nutrition strategy but it’s your heart that controls if you’re going to take the necessary action. Your head knows you should exercise but it’s your heart that complains about the weather, your gene, your food and makes every excuse it can think of.
If your head and your heart are not in agreement, there’s resistance already and something has to give and it may be your goal.
You have to learn to approach your goal from a place of acceptance and compassion. I can’t emphasize this enough. You may want to transform your body but invariably when you don’t accept or love yourself then you’re on a very difficult path.
“Your goal becomes what you are doing to your body not what you are doing for yourself”.
If you want to make sustainable, meaningful change to your body and your life, you have to get the elephant and the rider to happily go on the path together.
If you don’t care about the person inside and work with her, you are fighting a battle you’ll lose. Your head – the rider of the elephant – may look like she is in charge, because of all the information you have and the preparation you’ve made, but when there’s a disagreement between the elephant and the rider, the elephant usually wins.
It’s not about your will, it’s not information, and it’s not gadgets, if it were just that, there wouldn’t be a thriving industry in fitness.
Here are 2 steps to start with to tune up your mindset and get your head and brain working together. But, before that, think about this:
Now for the 2 steps:
- BE REALISTIC
Setting the bar high from the beginning may lead to overwhelm and reluctance. You may just give up because the things to do to reach the goals is so much and scares you away.
But if you break the change you’re going to make down. You heart will not be afraid or reluctant or come up with excuses because something no matter how small will already be happening.
You will get the curves that fit your body type. Most of the big booty you see on line are mostly Endomorphs or Mesomorph. They are naturally curvy.
Asses your body and be realistic. You won’t get curves as big as theirs but you’ll build curves suitable and terrific for your body.
When you start small and at every stage you see yourself evolving, your body changing, your confidence and self esteem growing, your heart filled with love and compassion for your lovely self; the seemingly endless things to do will start shrinking and you’ll just keep growing into you.
By making small changes and doing things a little better and a little bit more. You are not here to fight with genetics but to work with it and manipulate it (sometimes).
When you fight with your body you’ll lose, trust me.
Because, your body has a lot of tricks, that you know nothing about. Let me share one of those tricks with you.
Sometimes when I overeat lunch, and meet the calorie need required by my body to maintain balance, I will somehow not have any appetite at all for dinner and sometimes it spills over to breakfast the next day.
One meal usually pays for my calorie surplus
You may have also noticed it. You eat a lot today and automatically you eat less the next day or you eat less today and eat more the next day.
This is your body’s way of restoring and maintaining balance. It is not fighting you really; it is just trying to maintain your current weight.
But you, you want to change things, you want to gain healthy weight, you don’t want to be skinny fat, you want spectacular curves and you want to build muscles that are suitable for you.
What do you do? Knowing already that when you fight your body, you end up losing, what’s the next step?
Well, how about taking your food in liquid form, like smoothie, yogurt or soup? Your body may not want anything solid, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t want to be fed, it just doesn’t want solid.
Forcing yourself (that’s what your brain will suggest) to eat solid food, may lead to nausea, actually throwing the thing up or spitting it out. But when you listen to your body (your heart and emotion) without forcing but from a desire to understand, you may notice a slight nudge inside of you to try liquid.
That’s a perfect time to drag out the smoothie machine and mix up the perfect smoothie and enjoy. See, no fighting, just listening, understanding and agreeing and everyone wins.
Your aim again – Be realistic and work with your heart and brain to build your best body, don’t fight it.
2. BE CONSISTENT
Make sure that your behavior matches your goal which is to gain healthy weight and build curves and muscles.
When you make goals and your behavior does not consistently match your goal, you may be setting yourself up for failure.
I talked with clients about their one issue about following through with their plans and almost everyone said nutrition. So it’s not diet plan or knowing what to eat or what to stop eating.
Its behavior and adherence.
Once you get you behavior in line, everything will gradually and consistently fall into place; the right place.
It’s not enough to know what you should be doing, because your head already knows. It’s knowing and doing it as consistently as you can that brings result.
When there is cohesion between your heart and brain, you will be able to make decision for yourself that accomplish the body you want.
One of the things that may have held you back from gaining weight may have been your mindset and limiting beliefs: that you are created this way and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Great, that’s head again but what is your heart saying? Your heart is saying that It’s possible to build muscle and curves and change your life, but wants to know what is its benefit to you? What’s in it for you?
Knowing what you stand to benefit will make it easier for you not only to choose the bright behavior but to consistently choose that behavior because you know the reward waiting for you.
Retrain your mind and when those limiting thoughts come, reassure yourself that you now have the tools to get what you want and that you’ll get it because you know the awesome benefits.
That’s it. Simple but effective.
Do you want to build curves and muscle that flows with your physique, not one that looks like a grotesque attachment; as if it was molded somewhere and forcefully fixed on you?
Don’t just desire curves build it.